Invisible Tears
by AnimeXAdventurer
Summary: Lisanna comes back & joins the team! Everyone is content, including Lucy, who actually became Lisanna's best friend. But... what if Lucy's best friend unknowingly becomes the girlfriend of the boy Lucy had feelings for? Genre may slightly change. *UPDATED SUMMARY*
1. Normal Life

**Note:** Lisanna is NOT OOC in this story. Her character is what Hiro Mashima made it to be: KIND, CUTE, AND BUBBLY. Lucy isn't short of attention either, nor does her team want her out! I'm basically revamping that overused "LISANNA IS A TWO FACED ARSE HOLE WHO MAGICALLY CONVINCED TEAM NATSU TO KICK LUCY OUT" cliche into something more credible. Just in case you think this is one of your old repetitive plots ;)

(c) to Mashima!

Lucy's POV

Lisanna was back. Everyone was so happy, including me! When she came back, we of course had a gigantic party, and even better: I had gained a new team member as well as a new best friend. Natsu was particularly happy; I mean, if someone close to you who thought that you were dead came back, I'm pretty sure you'd pretty happy. And I was happy too. A new member and friend on my team.

It was nice having an actual sane person who didn't destory everything on sight next to me. Eventually, Lisanna became as close to me as Levy-chan was. I even entrusted her with secrets I didn't let Levy-chan get in on, and she let me know things that she wouldn't even tell Mira. I honestly didn't think I would find anything especially good out of Edolas.

I walked into the guild, finding my team there as usual.

"Oh! Good morning, Lu-chan!" Lisanna beamed next to Natsu as he was shouting kindergarden-level insults at Gray.

"Good morning, Lisanna-chan!"

"ICE BUTT."

"FLAMED SHIT HEAD."

"PERVERT."

"RETARD."

"Natsu! Gray! You two better shut up before-" I tried. But I was a little too late.

"Natsu... Gray..." Erza stared down at the two with glowing red eyes. "You two are getting along today... aren't you...?"

"A-Aye-!"

Lisanna and me just laughed.

"Hey Levy-chan~!" I called out.

"Hey! Lisanna, Lucy!"

I didn't waste time and cut to the chase. "So Levy, how's it going with Gajeel?"

"Woh-! HAH?! W-What a-are you talking about so early in the day Lu-chan?!"

"Hehh~~? Why are you stuttering so much Levy-chan? We're just seeing if you're getting any closer to him..." Lisanna teased so slyly, I couldn't help but feel devious myself.

"I should call him over here, shouldn't I?" I raised my hand and opened my mouth.

Lev-chan reacted and moved faster than Jet to tackle me to the ground. I would have never imagined her to have so much strength to hold me down like that.

"Now that's how you tackle, Levy!" Gray cheered on.

"Tchhh... COME ON, LUCY, YOU'RE STRONGER THAN THAT! I ALREADY BET HAPPY'S FISH MONEY ON YOU!" Natsu shouted from across the guild.

"AYE-?!" Happy popped out.

"WHO SAID THAT THIS WAS A WRESTLING MATCH-?!" I retorted with my eyes popped out.

"Natsu, how cruel, how could you do that to me..." Happy sulked in the corner while the guild was cheering for their bets.

"YOU JUST CAN'T HAVE ONE NORMAL DAY IN THIS GUILD CAN YOU?!" I screamed, but at the same time, I was laughing inside.

I wished to have such happy days like this again, but tomorrow was going to be totally different...

**So sorry if the first chapter was boring T^T It IS an introductory chapter after all, and we ALL know fun introductory chapters are very, very difficult to accomplish, but don't worry my pretties, all the drama is in the next chapter! **

**PLEASE FOLLOW (If you liked it), FAVORITE (Again... if you like it), AND REVIEW (All criticism is allowed, so feel free to hate spam me if you hated it!)!**

**...**

**...**

**Lucy: Why do you always like to put cliff hangers at the end? Have you ever felt the pain of cliff hangers before, Author? Why would you try to inflict pain on the readers like this?**

**Me: Oh God, Lucy's ranting again *climbs out the window and runs away* And I uploaded the second chapter together with the first. So THERE Lucy. Gawd.**

**Lucy: You're still a bad writer.**

**Me: Shut up.**


	2. Change

I walked into the guild, like usual, preparing for the unexpected... like normal.

But what I didn't know... was that what I was going to walk into would actually be the unexpected.

As I entered, I saw the whole guild cheering, laughing and smiling. And the center of the attention was... Natsu's arm around Lisanna with a smile on his face.

"Oh hey, Lucy! You heard, right? Me and Lisanna are together!"

Lisanna lightly blushed. "Oh c'mon... of course she heard. And so sorry, I didn't tell you in advance. Dang, even though I wanted you to be the first to know... since you're my best friend... I'm really, really sorry!"

_thump_

"O-Oh! It's fine! Really! Darn, I could've teased you soo much if I knew first!" I 'laughed'. "And I'm sooo happy you two are together. You guys are are really cute!"

"Aren't they?" Erza, Mira, Levy-chan, Gray, and Wendy walked up to me.

"They're so cute hmm? Lisanna's so lucky that I don't talk about her crush the way some OTHER people do!" Levy-chan elbowed me playfully.

"Look Erza, their colors just blend flawlessly!" Mira cheered. Erza nodded her head with a smile.

"Geez, who would've thought someone like Flame Brain would actually get a girlfriend." Gray smirked.

"How wonderful!" Wendy commented with a high-spirited expression.

Natsu smiled gleefully at us, and Lisanna only blushed harder.

But what they didn't notice...

Everything inside of me crashed. The future I had dreamt shattered before my eyes like delicate glass. My heart was wheezing, and my thoughts were spinning. I never knew I was so good at acting until I said what I had just said to them. My throat was hurting, and the world I was in just became blurry, colliding colors fading into black and white.

I slipped myself out of the guild and ran into my apartment. I slammed the door.

Third Person POV

Lucy collided her back with the locked door.

"H-Huh?" Lucy was stuttering to herself in utter confusion. Her lips were quivering and her eyes were covered by her blonde bangs.

"W-Why...? I-I sh-should b-be h-hap-py...! My t-two c-closest f-friends j-just got t-together...! Why a-am I...?"

She noticed that she was about to shed tears. Quickly, she brought her hands up to her eyes, and tried to smile widely so she could somehow falsely convince her eyes that that she was feeling an emotion that didn't have tears.

"N-No... no crying..." Lucy slumped to the floor, her smile disappearing into a pained expresssion. She brought her knees to her chest. "No... crying...!"

Lucy didn't care that she was alone, nor that no one could hear her. She still wasn't going to cry, even if it felt like daggers stabbing her every second she wasn't crying. She hated herself.

Because her heart was objecting this. Her heart was objecting her friends' happiness for its own desires! She was going to punish herself, and not let her heart feel comfort whatsoever.

But... she couldn't help the fact... she had feelings for that pink-haired idiot. Of course, she always knew this, but she couldn't face it. She couldn't see the possibility that Natsu returned her feelings. To the point that she even decided she would just be good friends with him for the rest of her life.

But even then... She couldn't stop her heart from feeling this way...

...so that's why... she would lock up all the pain into her heart. Even though it would slowly kill her from the inside.

Lucy fell to her side, not letting a single tear escape her eye. Her lips trembled upon the decision she made upon herself... but she wouldn't... she would never... ever...

...cry.

(The Next Day)

Natsu and Lisanna were talking and laughing with everyone, and Happy flew around the two, screaming, "You lllllllllllike her~!"

And Lucy just sat there. Smiling. In fact, she was smiling very brightly and optimisticly to the point where it was unnatural. She had to make her smiles sunnier... so she could cover her miserable, crying self. She was quiet. Lucy couldn't talk, or else her cracked and hurt voice would be heard. So she just smiled silently, while everyone laughed loudly... but she was isolated from everyone. She was alone.

Natsu noted her strange behavior and turned his attention towards Lucy.

"Hey, Lucy, what's up? You're quiet." Natsu stared at her.

"Yeah, Lu-chan, what is it?" Lisanna faced the same direction as Lucy.

Lucy panicked a bit inside. If they heard her quivering voice, they would know the secret she was specifically hiding from them.

"Ooh! Nothing, I was just looking at you two. You guys are just SUCH a perfect pair!"

"Ehh? Is that really all?" Lisanna stared confusingly with a hint of suspicion. "Is there-"

"Hey, Lisanna-chan, you wanna talk about... _that_? *wink wink, nudge nudge*" Lucy teased.

"EH-?! SO EARLY IN THE MORNING... AND NATSU'S HERE!" Lisanna panicked and tried to stop Lucy from doing what she was hinting.

Natsu just watched. Even though Lucy gave her best effort to hide it, his ears could still pick up a hint of despair in her voice that normal ears would not hear. It sounded so sorrowful that it hurt him, even if it was just for a split second, he could depict that there was something behind the curtains, but even then, he couldn't say...

However, with normal people, Lucy was succeeding. If she kept this momentum, hiding it wouldn't be a very bad problem at all. No one could tell, her stabbed, and pained heart screaming and crying for help. But Lucy would give herself no mercy. And she continued... with her fake smile... with her fake happiness... unallowing her desperately needed cries until she would rot away into nothing.

Over the months, however, Natsu's suspicion was pushed to the back of his mind and the least of his worries. Lucy actually was able to keep all her emotions in easily now, but to the point where she had actually forgotten how to express real emotions.

And like that, the team carried on like usual, doing missions, destroying the nearby towns, and having to pay their fees using their reward money.

The guild was normal and expected nothing of what Lucy had locked up. Everything was the usual and fell into place like Lucy wanted it to... except she was now living a pained, colorless life with no room for happiness.

Lucy actually learned to enjoy fighting difficult opponents independently like Erza, Natsu, and Gray. It was one of the few ways she was able to drown out her pain.

In fact, Erza repetitively asks on how Lucy was able to change her level in strength so drastically in such little time, but she often just replied with a "Dunno."

Her act held up for a long time. Almost a whole year to be exact, and by now, she had grown use to the pain. However, in the events of the Holidays, little did she know that her facade would finally disintegrate into nothing.

**AUTHOR'S EXTRAS:**

**Lucy: Hmph, won't you look at that... ANOTHER CLIFF HANGER! And why do you always like put me in pain in your fanfictions? Is hurting me and making me broken and depressed really that fun to you?**

**Me: Urghhhh, you know what? YES! YES IT IS FUN, YOU LIKE DAT. HUH.**

**Lucy: ...You're a horrible person.**

**Me: I thought we've already established that.**

**Lucy: And since you let me in on the full not three-shot version on this story, I can safely say that you really like making me suffer. Mentally and physically.**

**Me: Pfft. Only a little bit.**

**Lucy: Oh god, well, readers, just to let you know, Author is a very messed-up, dark person that has a twisted form of imagination, and if you would like to see the full version of this story, you better review this piece of crap that Author calls "writing" and tell us what you think! But knowing Author, she's a lazy asshole who takes a long time to update not because she's short of ideas, but because she's too lazy to type up the chapters EVEN THOUGH, IT SHOULDN'T TAKE MORE THAN 30 MINUTES.**

**Me: HEY, SHUT UP! IT MIGHT BE TRUE THAT I'M A LAZY ASS HAT, BUT DON'T SAY THAT. SURE, IT MIGHT TAKE _AWHILE_ FOR ME TO GET OFF MY BUTT AND TYPE CHAPTERS, BUT I WILL COMPLETE THE STORY AT LEAST. *But it might take awhile...***

**Lucy: Your readers are reading our conversations, and I don't think it's going to make them want to read your fiction based on the fact that you might leave them hanging for awhile...**

**Me: Ohhh crap, ummm... Hi~... Please follow, favorite and review~~**

**Lucy: Tch. Like they'll do that.**

**Me: OH JUST SHUT UP ALREADY.**


	3. Isolated

Lucy's POV

Months of agony and emptiness passed when I began to notice the Christmas lights dangling from Magnolia's houses.

_Oh yeah, Christmas was in a few days..._

I walked through the snow-treaded streets, and headed straight for the guild. As I approached the building's entrance, I fixed my face, and gave another empty smile.

Heh, pathetic, wasn't I? That I still hadn't gotten over him... And not only that, but I didn't even have the ability to see others anymore. Loke has come to me sometimes, but not even he could do anything about my current state of depression.

I still felt hurt every time Natsu and Lisanna held romantic tension. I still felt empty whenever Natsu was protective over Lisanna when things became dangerous... _the same way he used to be for me._

I opened my hands and let the soft, white crystals slowly dampen my palm.

_Why are you so weak?! Obsessing and being overly dependent on some guy you kind of liked. HAH! How pitiful, Lucy Heartfilia._

Such thoughts always clouded my mind. Why did I like him so much? Was it because he was always there to catch me when I was in trouble? Or because he brought me to Fairy Tail? Or was it...

The snow was blowing rapidly now. And I would get horrible frostbites if I continued to stand outside. I hurried into the guild.

As always, there was laughter, booze, and fire and ice clashing against each other.

I sat down in my usual seat and did my normal, empty smile.

"Ah! Lu-chan!" Levy-chan walked up to me with Lisanna.

"Hey, Levy-chan! Lisanna!"

"Ahh~ Christmas is going to come sooo soon~!" Levy-chan clamped her hands together, and swayed side to side. "I'm so excited! What are your plans for Christmas, Lu-chan?"

"Eh? M-My plans?" I thought to myself... _Oh yeah, how could I have forgotten...? Christmas was supposed to be a happy event best spent with loved ones..._

_Loved ones... happiness..._

"Lu-chan?" I looked up, and found Lisanna's curious, blue eyes staring at me.

"A-Ah! Sorry... I just zoned out for a bit. Ummm, I don't really have any plans, I guess."

"No plans? Well, that's something that _obviously_ needs to be changed, Lu-chan." Lisanna placed her index finger on her chin. "Alright! Why don't we all go on a group date together on Christmas?"

"A group date?" Me and Levy-chan looked at her with confusion.

"Mmhmm! Our team, you know, Lu-chan, me, Natsu, Erza, Gray, Wendy, Charle, and Happy, just going out on Christmas, and having fun!" Lisanna jumped at me. "Oh! Of course, we have to include Levy-chan, Mira-nee... oh! And Elfman too! And for Levy-chan... Gajeel should come too!"

"W-Wah-?!" Levy was stuttering in embarrassment, and Lisanna laughed. I desolately giggled with Lisanna, but to be honest... I had lost my ability to laugh during the months, even if it was for the _hilarious, _but cute love tension between Levy and Gajeel.

_'Maybe if I cried and let out everything... I would regain my laughter and...' _My thoughts stopped and I was reminded of the realization of my situation in reality._ 'Wait what am I saying?! Cry?! How weak are you?! Lucy!'_

I snapped back into reality. Levy and Lisanna were still planning and talking about the date.

I sat quietly, and I remembered... I didn't exactly have a loved one's arms to wrap me when I was cold. I didn't have someone to blush under the mistletoe along with me nor someone to cuddle with near a fireplace.

_Everyone has a date..._

_Everyone..._

_...but me._

"Well! I look forward to this date!" I suddenly outbursted. It startled Levy-chan and Lisanna a bit, but soon they joined my 'smile' and nodded their head in agreement.

Soon, Christmas Eve reached the current date of my calender, and dragged out by Levy-chan, Lisanna, and Erza, I went out shopping.

I swear everything Erza bought were those strawberry cakes that were on sale for Christmas (but she did get a couple of other flavors while she was at it).

Levy bought... books, and Lisanna bought so many things that I had to dip in some of my own jewels to help her pay, even when I was sure in there, was Lisanna's present to me.

Somehow though... I was happy that day. I finally felt myself being engaged in something. I had forgotten what it was like, feeling girly, and spending all of my jewels on clothing. For the first time in a long while, I felt... natural. No love drama, no real subject in particular. Just shopping for the day that was tomorrow.

(Christmas Day)

I woke up. Looking beside my bed, I did something I had not done in forever. I Lucy-kicked Natsu's face for invading my apartment.

"Gwah!" Natsu flopped comically as I felt enraged... and happy...

How long had it been since a situation like this played? But then, I remembered, that Natsu no longer invaded without a reason. Lisanna and the rest of the team were probably also in my room, causing him to come, most likely.

_Aaand..._

Erza came out of the bathroom.

"Hey... did something happen around here?" Erza glanced at Natsu flat on the floor.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU GUYS DOING IN MY APARTMENT?!"

"We were all up, and we just wanted to come to your room!" Natsu got up and patted his face. "Geez, your kicks still hurt."

Gray opened the door, and Wendy, Charle, and Happy, Lisanna came out from behind him.

"Good morning! Lu-chan! I made a sandwich for you!" Lisanna held a plate with a fish sandwich in it.

"I put in some fish inside it so it'll taste better!" Happy gleefully flew up.

"Wohhh, so this is Lucy-san's bedroom." Wendy's eyes swirled around

"Are you sure we're supposed to be invading Lucy's room like this?" Carla shrugged.

"Heya Lucy, we wanted to come get you." Gray looked around my bedroom. "Been awhile since I was in your bedroom... ooh, did you change your decor?"

"G-g..."

"Hmm? You said something, Lucy?" Natsu peered curiously.

"G-GE..."

"Are you stuttering? What is it?" Gray lazily looked over.

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM-!"

Like that, I tossed everyone outside my room.

_'Geez! I had forgotten how aggravating it is to have your privacy invaded!'_ But then I smiled. I had acted like how I would have acted back then, with real emotions. I looked up at the ceiling.

I noticed that I have been acting much more natural recently, and did so unconciously... was my pain finally fading away?

Was my gaping wound at once, healing itself? Was I was finally getting over him? The thought that I could finally start over anew with my love life. Or just... my life in general. It made me smile.

_Maybe... with the end of the year... I can end this suffering._

_...but there's still this small feeling..._

Third Person POV

Lucy got up, and walked into the restroom to shower and dress. She made sure that she would be extra pretty; it was Christmas after all.

Walking outside, she found her team having a snowball fight, and just making a mess of their surroundings... like usual. Lucy smiled, and threw one herself to snap into her optimistic facade.

_Just a little more until the new year, and I'll be free._

After getting a very heated scolding from the land lord of the apartment, they headed out to the streets filled with Christmas vendors and laughing children. It was a beautiful sight indeed. The street was blanketed with snow with colorful lights that seemed to dance and bounce off of each other.

Upon walking, they found Levy, Gajeel, Mira, and Elfman waiting for them. And creeping behind the pine trees was the overly obsessed fangirl of Gray.

"Hey, what the hell took you all so long? We were waiting for 10 minutes!" Gajeel sneered at us.

"Don't be rude, Gajeel!" Levy tugged at Gajeel's arm.

"Sorry, Lucy's make-up got a bit ruined from the snow." Erza looked over at Lucy's rushed mascara. Lucy looked like she had the urge to murder her team, but contained herself, and smiled once more.

"Well, let's have fun today! It's Christmas after all!" Mira cheered.

"Yeah!" Everyone echoed back in unison.

The day went by rather fast, and everything blurred from Lucy's view, as if someone just decided to fast forward the day. But that was normal.

To Lucy, that was how everyday life was now. _Just a blur._

There wasn't anything too notable happening that day, other than the distribution of presents, and more bills to pay after another snowball fight caused by two idiots with some extra help from a medal guy and a... 'man' guy.

Soon, the day passed quite quickly, and night fell upon the white-stained sky. Their final destination was the place that made Magnolia a known place. It was the orchard of sakura trees that lit up with Christmas lights, and sided lanterns.

It was Winter, so there weren't any pink-hued petals to gaze upon, but what made it beautiful were the dangling rainbow-colored lights substituting the beauty of a blooming cherry blossom.

Green, blue, red, yellow, white. All of the colors mashed together into a mess of bouncing colors in her sped-up world.

So beautiful, it made Lucy's heart leap for a second, before it beated normally. There were small presents, and innocent ornaments decorating the trees. Kids' smiles filled the pathway, and loving couples and families bunched up together with an essence of hope, happiness, and life.

Her heart ached a little bit, but she smiled again.

"Beautiful." Words escaped Lucy's lips as she gazed upon the trees.

"Yeah..." Mira smiled warmly at the trees. She looked at the family near her. "It's lovely."

Finally, Levy was the one to break the silence.

"Heyyy! Are you guys so mesmerized by it's beauty that you've zapped out of this world?" Levy waved to the front of the group.

"A-Ah!" Lisanna snapped out. "L-Levy...!"

"What?"

"YOU'RE UNDER A MISTLETOE... WITH GAJEEL!"

Now, _everyone _came back into reality, and turned their heads near the two.

"W-WAH?!" Levy jumped back, and looked up. There, dangling from a branch, was a small mistletoe.

"H-Hey..." Gajeel found light blush on his cheeks. "There really is a mistletoe..."

"D-DON'T GET T-THE W-WRONG IDEA, HERE! T-THIS WAS J-JUST S-SOME ACCIDENT."

"Accident?"

Mira and Lisanna jumped forward fangirling.

"Well, what are you waiting for!" Lisanna popped in. "THIS IS YOUR CHANCE LEVY-CHAAAANN~~~!"

"OH MY GOD THIS IS SO CUTE, JUST WAIT A SECOND I HAVE TO MENTALLY PREPARE MYSELF TO REMEMBER THIS MOMENT FOREVER." Mira smiled widely staring with googly eyes over what was happening.

"H-Hey! Y-You guys! We're not gonna-!" Levy was panicking until Gajeel came in aaand-

Their lips met, and Levy was burning with embarrassment. Even Lucy, who was in her own world had to turn and look.

Erza was gaping at the scene with sparkles in her eyes. It seemed she had her own fantasies of this happening as well.

"Ah geez! This is so cheesy, I can't-" Gray couldn't finish before Juvia jumped from a tree branch and landed on him.

"GRAY-SAMA~~~!" Juvia took advantage of the fact that Gajeel and Levy kissed, and thought she would participate too.

"H-H-HEY, JUVIA?! WHAT THE-"

"Juvia was waiting for the right moment to come out of hiding, and now that it has come, I shall wait no further!" Juvia was about to plant her lips on Gray's before Gray swiped from the ground and ran deeper into the sakura orchard.

"Wait! GRAY-SAMA~~~!" Juvia chased after him.

"Go get him, Juvia!" Mira called out. She was already flustered by these day's events and had already passed away and gone to heaven when she bumped into the Raijinshuu.

"Woah! You guys were here?" Natsu called out, confused by the sudden events.

"Yeah... we thought we should come here to relax for a bit, and then... wow what happened?" Laxus looked around to find Gajeel and Levy standing next to each other with flushed faces, and Juvia chasing Gray in the distance.

"Oh, just mistletoe things." Lisanna giggled to herself. Soon, she looked over at her big sister and Laxus. She snickered to herself, and knocked Mira onto Laxus.

"W-What are you doing, Lisanna?" Mira's cheeks turned a bit warmer.

"Well... with all the couples, who could resist not participating, Mi-ra-nee?" Lisanna smirked playfully.

"N-No way...! You're not-!"

Mira was pushed closer to Laxus's buff build. And soon, Laxus caught the situation he was planted in, and widened his eyes and blushed himself.

"H-Hey... I didn't come here for this so..." Laxus trailed off before Freed stood in front of him.

"THAT'S RIGHT! HOW _DARE_ YOU! TO PAIR THE GREAT LAXUS WITH SOMEONE-!" Freed's face was red from both anger and... _severe _admiration. "RAIJINSHUU! ASSEMBLE!"

In the distance, he found Evergreen and Elfman blushing and calling each other idiots, and Bixlow messing with the children in range using his dolls.

Freed sunk to the ground in somber.

"Freed...!" Mira looked at him with her face pinkening even more. While Laxus held a red hue on his face looking at Mira.

_A love circle if I've ever seen one._

Erza backed away into the trees. _Wow, there's so much love in the air right now..._ It was a bit too much to handle.

Soon, she turned around to find a random Jellal behind her.

"J-JELLAL?!" Great, just what Erza needed.

"W-W-What a-are y-you d-doing h-h-here?" Erza stuttered. To talk the one she had feelings for in _this _atmosphere.

"It was Christmas, and I needed a break. Mind if I joined you? There's a lot of commotion around here." Jellal sat down with Erza who had blush more scarlet than her hair.

"Hey, won't you look at that? It's a mistletoe-" Before Jellal could continue, Erza went full panic mode and knocked Jellal over.

"Waaah-!" Soon, they fell over each other, and oh how awkward it was as Lisanna watched them from afar, giggling.

Lisanna looked at everyone, then looked at Natsu.

"Everyone has a partner hmm?"

"Y-Yeah..." Even though Lisanna was Natsu's girlfriend, he still didn't really know how to deal with romantic situations.

"Awww~! You're so cute... blushing like this!" And she hugged him tightly. Blushing, he hugged her back. They looked so happy.

Then... there was Lucy. In the corner, away from everyone. Her lip quivered, and her bangs partially blinded her view.

She watched Natsu and Lisanna, and everyone else.

Her heart gave a crying scream again, and she looked around. There... wasn't anyone. She almost couldn't contain herself this time, and she watched everyone.

_She was by herself, isolated. No one can see her, no one can hear her, eventually, she would just be overshadowed and fade into the insignificant background._

Suddenly, cold washed over her. And she hugged herself for warmth even though it was to no avail. Soon, the same, similar thoughts washed over her thoughts.

_I didn't have a loved one's arms to wrap me when I was cold. I didn't have someone to blush under the mistletoe along with me nor someone to cuddle with near a fireplace._

_Everyone has a date and someone to receive love from..._

_Everyone..._

_...but me._

**AUTHOR'S EXTRAS**

**Ookayyy, this chapter was A LOT longer than I had planned it to be, and I kind of had to cut it in half. Uhhh... yeah. And thank you for the reviews! Even though there's only like four, that was enough to motivate me to make this more than a three-shot! Thank you for your love, my four followers TuT (-forever alone loser). And I am so, SO sorry if the writing was bad in this chapter, I wrote it on different days, and I didn't exactly always come back with the same momentum and mindset as the previous.**

**Boy, was this chapter a lot. I'm sorry if I tried to be funny and failed at it. I'm not a humorous person, you see. And I decided to toss in some GaLe, MiraXus, FreeXus, Jerza, Elfgreen, and Gruvia just to make Lucy feel more secluded. Yeah, hope you didn't mind.**

**Lucy: Wow, screw you, author. And you kept the readers waiting a WHOLE long for a new chapter.**

**Me: Well, I'm sorry, okay?! I'm just... a bit lazy sometimes.**

**Lucy: You took more than a week. When it should take you about a day.**

**Me: You act like I have no life other than fanfiction.**

**Lucy: Oh? What do you do on your spare time then? Watch One Piece? Drool over Seijuro Akashi and Sebastion Michaelis? Eat potato chips until you can't move anymore? CRY OVER AQUARIUS?!**

**Me: YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE.**

**Lucy: I DAMN JUST DID.**

**Me: AQUARIUS. NO. GOD DAMMIT. STOP GIVING ME FEELS, YOU WITCH!**

**Lucy: OH I'M THE WITCH?! AT LEAST I'M NOT THE ONE WHO ENJOYS READING FAIRY TAIL DEATHFICS.**

**Me: I-!**

**...**

**...**

**Me: Okay, maybe I like to read deathfics, but who doesn't from time to time?!**

**Lucy: 'From time to time' my ass, more like, 'Every time I come onto fanfiction. net'**

**Me: Hey everyone! Follow, favorite, and review if you liked it! And if you didn't... JUST REVIEW AND EMAIL ME A LOT OF HATE, YEAH?**

**Lucy: HEY DON'T IGNORE ME YOU SWINE!**

**Me: KAYY BYYEEEE.**


	4. I scream

The year was nearing to an end, and Lucy was there, with everyone else, though not mentally. The commotion died down a bit over at the orchard, and it was getting pretty dark.

"Awww, the day's almost over~" Mira whined a bit. She was really enjoying herself.

"Yeah... I wish it lasted longer." Natsu walked on the path to the exit, a bit agitated from the darkness of the night sky. He ignited a flame with his fist, and acted as a torch for the rest of the group.

"Hey... Lu-chan?"

"Eh?" Lucy snapped her head back up to find Levy's eyes meet hers.

"Did you travel into an alternate dimension or something? You were zoning out for awhile now... what did you see there?" Levy's eyes sparkled with interest. She was always a sci-fi type of person it seemed...

"No... I was just... thinking about some things." Lucy swiped the hair covering her eyes to the side. And Levy bumped her shoulder into Lucy's.

"Oooh~? Lu-chan's thinking about some things~?" Levy-chan deviously smiled at me, so I could tell what she was getting at. "Well I'm sure he-"

_Hold on... what?_

Levy realized something in the midst of her jokes. Usually, she'd imply that she was rooting for Lucy and her love interest or something... but that was when it hit her.

_Wait a minute... who do I pair Lu-chan with? Is there even anyone for Lu-chan to call a crush...?_

Levy decided to speculate a bit further...

_In the past... I always teased her about trivial things like crushes and love because it was funny. There was always someone to see her with and it was cute, like how I saw her with Nats-_

Levy froze again. Her heart jerked a bit at the realization from the possibility that Lucy might've been-

"Oh c'mon... stop it, Levy-chan! It's not like that with anyone...!" Lucy turned her head to the side with her arms crossed like she always reacted.

Levy examined her closely. Levy's eyes were full of concerned doubt, but after a few seconds, Levy stepped back, seeing no particular facial movements on Lucy's face.

"Hey Pipsqueak, Bunny Girl!" Gajeel turned back to call for them. "You can talk about your books later. We're going now."

Levy blushed at the sight of him, but the red on her face quickly disguised itself as cute tsundere love as she hollered back at him. "If you're gonna kiss someone, try not to call them 'Pipsqueak' right after you do! You... you hunk of metal!"

Lucy stared at them. What had happened earlier... acting. Lucy had concealed those feelings for such a long time, and she held such a tight grip on them. Levy had noticed the possibility too late for any hints of Lucy's true emotions to become visible. But it was slipping... her lock on them was breaking... Lucy blankly stared into the ground with an unnatural, impassive expression. Levy turned to see Lucy become paler from the dropping temperature.

Levy grabbed ahold of Lucy's hand with a warm smile, and pulled her into a jog towards the group. "Come on, Lu-chan! It's gonna get suuuper cold, even _more _than it is now, if we stay out here any longer!"

"Y-Yeah..." Lucy steadily entered the range of the warmth of his fire. Natsu's fire. It radiated their path with a vibrant red-orange color, and almost outshined the stars that were stitched into the night sky. She looked at Levy again, who was still holding her hand as she got closer to the group. A small smile lit Lucy's face.

_Thanks for caring._

Like a bus, everyone started leaving the group once their home was near little by little. Right until it was just Mira, Natsu, Happy, Lisanna, Elfman, and Lucy.

They were finally nearing towards Lucy's house when Lucy broke off from the group.

"Well, today was fun. I'll just be going now." Lucy faked a smile as she walked up the steps to her apartment.

"Yeah, it was! Bye, Lu-chan!" Lisanna waved over to Lucy. Mira and Elfman did the same.

"Yep, we should have more days like this!" Natsu smiled his signature teethy grin. "Well we're gonna go on ahead. Later, Lucy!"

"Bye bye Lucy!" Happy flew and waved at her.

Like that, they went. And his fire disappeared into the distance.

Lucy's POV

I waved back at them for awhile, until it seemed like I was saying farewell to nothing. I unlocked my door, and entered my house. Somehow... things seemed a bit more black and white than I saw it to be. I felt really empty; as if someone took my feelings and just dumped them somewhere.

_Heh, I was alone again. I oughta be used to this by now._

But... I couldn't. To be realistic, no one really gets used to being alone, and it had only been a year for me... no? However, I was planning on replenishing myself, and just move on.

_The year is almost done, Lucy, just hang in there...!_

Easily, I could be called a drama queen for getting so depressed for a whole _year_ just because my best friend started dating someone I held love for ever since I was just a untrained and unexperienced wizard... but...

I knew full well... the reason why I ended up like this... it was because... I was foolish from the start.

_If I had just cried... and told my feelings to someone. If I hadn't stupidly held all of this loneliness inside of me... I would have been able to move on..._

But pain grows... it sticks, it plagues. Like the salt of tears clinging onto a person's face, except it wouldn't wash off so easily. I acted and realized it too late for the steps to move on then and there. Now... my life really will be as colorless as I made it to be... and now my tears will be invisible... as I made them to be.

_(New Year's Eve)_

I arrived at the center of town. There, was a huge clocktower imported to Magnolia a week ago. It was made of a dark brown wood, and had glimmering lights wrapped around itself. At the top, a wreath detailed enough to be called magnificent, hung around the frame of the clock. It was guarded by red cables, and surrounded by most of the townspeople, including me and the others.

"Ah~! The clock used for the countdown is beautiful! Look, look! Gray-sama!" Juvia turned to see Gray chatting with Lisanna.

"Love Rival #2!" Juvia's eyes became a demon's glare.

"H-Hey Ice Bastard! I bet I could withstand this cold longer t-than you!" Natsu called out a challenge to Gray. He was trying to hide his shivering, but he wasn't doing a very good job.

"..."

Gray looked at Natsu with the most dumbfounded face. "I'm not even going to try you on this."

"Natsu..." Lisanna covered her the side of her face in unamusement, then smiled again. "You know, you look like you're freezing."

"I-I'm not-!" Natsu turned to Lisanna. "Actually, where the hell is Ice Bastard?! Shying out of a fight huh? Just goes to show how I won!"

"He went over there with the others." Lisanna giggled as she pointed to Gray, who was trying his hardest not to notice Juvia glomping him.

Then Natsu looked over at me.

"Yo! Lucy." Natsu firmly called.

Startled from suddenly being called out, I looked at him.

"Why are you so far away? If I didn't have a dragon slayer nose, I wouldn't have known you were there."

"Ah, Lu-chan!" Lisanna waved over at me gleefully. "What are you doing over there? Levy-chan was looking for you."

"A-Ah, Levy-chan was looking for me?" I looked around. I felt a bit guilty for making Levy-chan go out of her way for me. "In that case I should go to her, where is she?"

"Hm? Oh she's up there! With Gajeel and the others." Lisanna winked at me as she pointed towards the the clock. I forced a giggle to show I knew what she meant.

There was a big clump of Fairy Tail members up nearer to the clock, where I found Levy-chan.

"Lu-chan! Where were you? I was searching for you!" Levy-chan complained.

"Oh, I was just taking a bit extra time dressing." I fumbled with my hair.

"Hehhh? Well, whatever, you're here right now, so that's fine."

I looked up at the pendulum. The clock actually looked a lot like Horologium, but even more grand. It was only about three more minutes until midnight struck, then I realized I might have forgotten to lock my door. Though most of the people in town were probably where I was, I didn't want to come back to find my things vandalized right when the New Year started.

"Hey Levy-chan, I think I forgot to lock my door, I'm gonna go see if it's locked."

"But the clock is just about to strike midnight, can't you just stay a little bit longer?"

"It's really uneasing me~" I clapped my hands together in front of my face. "Please~?"

"Fine, just hurry back! Missing this would suck!" Levy-chan looked back up at the clock.

I hurried off out of the crowd. On my way, at the corner of my eye, I saw Natsu and Lisanna. Their faces seemed to get closer. I didn't notice at first, but as I watched them, my jogging pace was steadily slowing down to a stop. Natsu slightly turned his head, and his lips aimed for hers. Leaning in, he closed his eyes, and Lisanna's delicate lips touched his. Her reddened face leaned into a kiss, and she placed a part of her weight onto his chest. Natsu placed one arm on her waist, and had his free arm grasp her shoulder.

Suddenly, a pang shot through my heart. The pain I was feeling felt so familiar, and it hurt so much. It was the same pain I had felt awhile back when Natsu announced he and Lisanna were together. Everything felt like it was too much. My eyes wouldn't move from the two, and I suddenly felt the difficulty to breathe. My thoughts were darting.

_What is this? Why am I looking at this? Why do I care so much? Why do I love him?! Why Lisanna?! Wasn't I going to renew myself?! Why? WHY? WHY?!_

I couldn't take it, everything hurt. Just watching them kiss for the first time, just watching them be so... _happy!_ I ran. The fastest I could, just so I can stop myself from these ugly thoughts. Just so I could stop _myself from interfering with anything._

I reached my apartment, and slammed the door so hard that I would have broken it. I slowed myself down. I backed up to the wall and sat down. I hung my head as if it would help anything. I felt my vision blurring.

_Am I... crying?_

I could feel my eyes getting warmer. Though this time I didn't scold myself for my tears. I scolded myself for hating the fact that Natsu and Lisanna were together.

_It happened awhile ago. And everyone is happy with those two being together. My friends, who are my everything, are happy. If anything, I would give my happiness up for them. In fact, I should be cheering on for them. So why...?_

Though after I thought for a bit, I realized. I didn't feel _one_ tear drop from my eyes.

_Wait. Why am I not crying? I'm not even holding it in and yet..._

Then it hit me. Have I... lost my ability to even _cry_? I can't even let out my feelings?!

Then, clock struck for midnight. I could hear the bells' melody ringing, and the townspeoples' cheers. I could feel the positive moods from all around. It just stabbed me even more. I used the wall I had backed up on to slide down. I squeezed my knees, and made my fetal position even tighter. My hair covered my eyes, and I couldn't see as well.

Then, I let out a scream. Just a scream. I grasped my head as I squeezed my eyes shut, and let out a scream.

Natsu's POV

I parted my lips from Lisanna's. They tasted like sweet pineapples.

"So... this marks our first kiss huh?" I scratched my cheek with my index finger.

"Y-Yeah..." Lisanna shied away from my eyes. She looked so cute... wait... what?!

Lisanna always kept telling me to save our first kiss for the new year. I never really understand why, but I guess I abided with it.

But then... when we were kissing, I _swear_ I smelled Lucy's scent run into the direction of Lucy's apartment. I could even hear faint steps. Now that I think about... I'm pretty sure I wasn't mistaken.

"Hey Lisanna."

"Y-Yes, Natsu?"

"I'm gonna go check something, wait for me here okay?"

"Huh? Where are you going?"

"I think I saw something... anyway, just stay here 'kay?"

"A-Alright."

I ran on the trail of her scent. Yup, no mistake, I could smell the scent of her perfume growing stronger as I went closer to her apartment. As I jog towards her scent, I hear a blood curling scream. It rippled the the atmosphere, and I could feel my hairs standing from the sheer feel of it.

It sounded so hoarse, so hurt, so... lonely. As through that scream, the pain of their confessions and secrets were told. Though I wasn't near the location, it was loud. What was worse... was that the scream had the same vibration of Lucy's voice.

_Lucy screamed._

I started sprinted towards her apartment even faster, and reached her door only to barge it open. There... I found Lucy, by herself... shaking.

Third Person POV

Lucy's ears picked up the sound of her door opening. While still keeping her head down, her eyes slowly looked up. Natsu was standing there, concerned and shocked at the same time.

Her eyes looked so dead. The lively chocolate brown eyes she always met Natsu with looked nothing like they were now. There was no joyful sparkle in her eye. They carried the same hue and feel of decayed wood, and it was as if all hope had been drained of her.

Lucy hung her head even more, and her hair covered her eyes to the point where they were completely covered. Natsu's pupils slowly absorbed and examined the sight of Lucy like this. That scream... the pain he heard in it... he knew he had heard it before. It was back when he told her that he and Lisanna got together. That painful edge in her voice. Of course, with how optimistic she always acted, it seemed insignificant, didn't it? Though, he always did notice how sudden her optimism was.

Then, Natsu broke the silence, and in the deepest and quietest voice he could muster, he spoke.

"Why are you here, alone?"

"..."

"You missed the big clock strike midnight."

"..."

Natsu raised the volume in his voice a little bit.

"Why are you crying?"

Lucy jerked at his question, and her hair cleared way for her vision. Then... in a quivering and weak voice, she responded.

"I wasn't crying."

"Lucy."

Now, Lucy spoke clearer and firmer.

"I wasn't crying."

"Lucy!"

Lucy stood up on her feet, and shouted.

"I WASN'T CRYING!"

"YOU WERE! WHY WOULD YOU BE ALONE HERE?!"

Natsu stepped closer to her, and took ahold of both her wrists. Lucy lifted her head, and looked him dead straight in the eyes.

"I WASN'T CRYING!"

"LUCY! YOU-"

Then Natsu weakened his grip on her wrists, with widened eyes, he stared at her. She lowered her head again.

"...I wasn't... crying..."

Natsu could see Lucy's lips shaking. Of fear, or of anger, he didn't know. However, he could tell he shouldn't dig into Lucy anymore. She was hurt, frustrated, and confused. Natsu's grasp on her wrists was nonexistent at this point, and he was just touching them now. Lucy shook off his hands.

"Levy-chan is waiting for me..." Lucy quietly spoke. "I have to apologize to her... for not seeing the clock when it struck midnight..."

Lucy walked with nearly no balance to the door, though Natsu wanted to help her to keep her from falling, his feet felt like they were drilled to the floor. Slowly, she made her way out, and started towards the clock. Natsu just watched her from the opening of her door. His heart ached. To think, he, someone Lucy was able to call a best friend, didn't see how much she had suffered all this time. His salmon hair covered his forehead and eyes.

_I'm sorry._

**Author's Extras**

**AlllRIGHT. I UPDATED. And I made it suuper long to make up for making you guys wait a month haha (sorry). I guess you could say I got a bit lazy? And I became addicted to playing 2048, so there was that too. Okay so I did indeed read your reviews. There were suggestions for different ships. Well I thought it over, and I got a lot of suggestions to keep Nali I guess. Well, just a small heads up, the genre of this fanfiction might change a little bit, and I am unsure if it can end with Nali, BUT it doesn't have to end up Nalu either, so you can tell me if you want Nalu or if you just want to keep the relationships mutual or 'friendship-y'. As for the Graylu and Lolu fans... hmm... I can _try_ to develop those a bit, but it might be a bit sudden because they aren't really an important part of the story to begin with... but I'll take the considerations. Also, please tell me if I am developing the story too quickly, because upon rereading my work, I'm starting to think I'm pacing the story waaay too fast. So tell me that too. Well, I'm done I guess.  
**

**Lucy: Pfft. You know how long your followers waiting for the chapter to come out? Prioritize the people who read your work at least.**

**Me: Uhhhh.**

**Lucy: Tchhhh. Seriously, your damn SUMMER already started, and you still just waste your time slumping around. I DON'T GIVE TWO SHITS IF YOUR FAVORITE ANIME ENDED, DON'T KEEP YOUR FOLLOWERS WAITING.**

**Me: Okay das eit. Why am I always getting lectured by you every time I finish a chapter? Are you my asian mom or something?**

**Lucy: Pffft. Well, whatever. You suck at 2048 by the way. Playing constantly, yet your highest block is still 512. And plus, no one really plays 2048 anymore. Did you just decide to join the party late or something?**

**Me: I... I THOUGHT IT WAS A MATH GAME OKAY. AND I DON'T LIKE MATH GAMES.**

**Lucy: IT IS A MATH GAME, YOU RETARD.**

**Me: I am so done, just...stahp... *leaves***

**Lucy: ...She's hopeless. Well, please follow, favorite, and review if you want to. If you thought it was bad, and I don't blame you, spam her inbox with hate messages 'kay?**

**Me: So not cool.**


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